ordered the DNA test fast this time, like I didn’t even let myself think about it. Just clicked it and done. But the truth is, I’ve been putting it off for ages. Every time I thought about doing it before, I’d get this weird feeling in my chest and back out. I kept pretending I didn’t care, but I did. I was scared — scared of finding out there’s family out there I never knew about, scared of opening something I can’t shut again. It’s a messed‑up feeling, wanting answers but being terrified of them at the same time.
And now I’m just sitting here waiting for the results, and honestly it’s doing my head in. I rushed the test like it was nothing, but now that it’s actually happening, every day feels slow. I keep checking the tracking like it’s going to magically update. Part of me wants to know everything right now, and another part of me is still freaking out about what I might find. But I guess I’m finally at the point where I’m ready to deal with whatever comes back. No more running from it.
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