We are told, from birth, that we are meant to be chasing gold. Gold medals, gold standards, gold-plated retirement plans. Society is obsessed with the idea that if you are not currently sprint-triathloning toward some arbitrary peak performance goal, you are somehow failing at life.

At 24, maybe you believe that. At 50, you realize that most of the “gold” people are chasing is actually painted lead.

If you are currently feeling the pressure to “set goals” or “go for gold,” here is my unsolicited advice: stop it. Or at least, interrogate the witness first.

The Burden of Proof

Before you commit to a new goal, you need to apply a little cross-examination. Ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I want to, or because I’ve been conditioned to think I’m not valuable unless I’m doing it?”

Most of our goals fail because they are not our own. They belong to a career coach, a university brochure, or some influencer who is selling a life hack they have never actually tested. If your goal does not directly improve your ability to eat, sleep, or spend your money exactly how you please, you should immediately move to strike that goal from the record.

The Autonomy Defense

In the legal world, we talk about agency. In real life, autonomy is the only gold worth chasing.

When you set a goal, make sure the outcome is not just “getting a trophy.” The outcome must be “getting more freedom.” If you are going back to school to study law (like I am), the goal is not just the degree. The goal is the ability to interpret the world on your own terms. If a goal requires you to sacrifice your peace, your time, or your right to make your own decisions, then that gold is too expensive.

The Statue of Limitations on “Hustle”

There is a pervasive lie that you must be “optimizing” every second of your day. We are taught that if we are not busy, we are lazy.

I am here to tell you that at 50, “lazy” is just another word for “I have completed my to-do list and I am now going to sit here and stare at the wall because I have earned the right to do so.”

If your “going for gold” strategy involves ignoring your health or your sleep schedule to meet an arbitrary deadline set by someone who doesn’t know your name, you are not a competitor. You are a volunteer for someone else’s success.

My Closing Statement

Go for gold, by all means. But make sure it is 24-karat, not the plastic junk they hand out at corporate retreats. If your goal makes your life smaller, harder, or more controlled by other people, reject it.

You have spent 50 years (or whatever your number is) learning how to be you. Don’t waste your energy trying to win a race you didn’t enter.